Perhaps one of my favorite things about working in the piercing industry is piercings’ amazing ability to help people heal, to empower people, and to allow people an avenue to reclaim their bodies. Anyone who works in this field has dozens of stories of clients coming in seeking a piercing after a traumatic experience, as a way to celebrate a milestone, or just a seemingly standard interaction that ended in tears and emotion. For many survivors of trauma, piercings are a way to reconnect with their body. As one of my clients, Molly says “I was in the Mormon church for over two decades, married at 17. I never thought I would leave. Even after I did, it didn’t feel real. I was always looking over my shoulder. I decided to get my nose pierced because it’s something they would never, ever allow. It's the last step in me leaving for good. It means I have control over my body now…not them.” I remember her email for her nostril piercings and the tears of joy and grief that welled up in her eyes after. Grief for what she had endured and the life she left and joy for this amazing new chapter. It was one of the more powerful moments in my piercing career.
In an effort to better understand the trauma our bodies love to keep inside and the way piercings and tattoos can unlock them, I recently picked up the book “The Body Keeps the Score”. This has languished on my reading list for a while. On one hand, many laud it as a groundbreaking novel for trauma treatment and therapy with brilliant neuroscience and diverse perspectives on how trauma can affect every facet of our life. On the other, many have been highly critical of this book for its harsh depiction of violence and pain, and the way it justifies horrific actions as “part of war.” The book asks you to sympathize with men who admit to raping women and murdering children and can at times be problematic in its depiction of trauma. It was with an understanding of both facets of this book that I went into it, and while I fully agree with the critiques of the novel, I also found many of the answers I sought about stores trauma, the body, and piercings' unique ability to tap into internal healing we need to do for ourselves.
“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become experts at ignoring their gut feelings and numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.”
“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.”
“Trauma victims cannot recover until they become familiar with and befriend the sensations in their bodies. Being frightened means that you live in a body that is always on guard. Angry people live in angry bodies. The bodies of child-abuse victims are tense and defensive until they find a way to relax and feel safe. In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past.
In my practice I begin the process by helping my patients to first notice and then describe the feelings in their bodies—not emotions such as anger or anxiety or fear but the physical sensations beneath the emotions: pressure, heat, muscular tension, tingling, caving in, feeling hollow, and so on. I also work on identifying the sensations associated with relaxation or pleasure. I help them become aware of their breath, their gestures and movements.”
One of the major powers of piercing is that it is often a deeply embodied process. Clients must be present in their own bodies, from looking at marks in the mirror to feeling the sensations of cleaner on the skin, to the moment of piercing. Combined with the anxiety that a piercing can produce, it’s often a very heightened state of being in our own bodies, and one where we know there will be some amount of pain. But this is done in a consensual, safe, and welcoming environment. Good piercers have strong bedside manners and trauma-informed care practices that help clients feel comfortable and secure as we guide them through the process of being pierced. For many clients, they hold their trauma in their bodies, from the pain of an assault to the aches of grief, medical trauma, or the memory of a natural disaster. All of these things are often held and stored in the body, and some can even resemble the process of being pierced (Someone doing something harmful to your body). By creating safe, consent-based spaces for clients to experience these things, we rewrite those old traumas with new experiences. Ones where the client have agency over their bodies (picking jewelry, selecting placement of the piercing), one where the sensation of pain is minimized by someone caring and compassionate, and the client is met with love and encouragement for getting through it, rather than shame or stigma. In the moment of piercing our clients end up deeply connected with their bodies, sometimes a connection they have been subconsciously avoiding or pushing away for a long time thanks to trauma.
And after all of this, they have a permanent mark to remind them of their strength. They get to look in the mirror and see physical proof they are strong enough to overcome their fear and brave enough to accomplish something like this. And they get to see this reminder of their strength every single day when they notice their piercing. It is no wonder many of us subconsciously seek out body modifications as a way to reclaim our bodies from the things we have endured. It’s also no surprise that a process like piercing can often bring up unexpected emotions that we may have tried to bury deep inside ourselves or ignore. After all, the body does keep the score.
Piercings can remind us that the body knows things the mind may not. I recently had a client in for a standard jewelry change on an existing piercing. The moment my gloved hands lightly toucher her ear, she began to cry. I immediately pulled back and asked if she was in pain or if I hurt her. She insisted she was fine and asked me to continue. As I gently cleaned around the jewelry, she began to sob. Eventually, she confessed that she had recently lost a friend to a tragic accident. She hadn’t cried yet, caught up in funeral planning and notifying friends. Just a simple touch in the piercing room was enough to unlock the tears she had been holding back. I finished the jewelry change at her request, and then we sat in silence and I held her as she cried. She kept trying to apologize, saying she didn’t know why the tears were coming now. She may not have known. But her body did. Something in the exchange of energy, the vulnerability, the intimacy of piercing, her body found the tears it needed to release.
If you have ever found yourself seeking out a piercing after a difficult time or a traumatic experience. If you’ve ever gone in for a normal piercing and found yourself emotional and crying during the process, seemingly for no reason, please know you are not alone. This is a normal response to getting a piercing. Our bodies store a lot of emotions and trauma inside and piercing, just like things such as massage, yoga, and breathwork can all be ways we unlock that stored trauma and hurt. It is perfectly ok to have those feelings and emotions in the piercing room, and as piercers, we are here to support you through this. Most of us have had similar experiences ourselves, and it’s those very experiences that have made us want to become piercers. So please do not feel bad, please don’t apologize for being emotional. This is a safe space for you to do so, and we are here to hold space for you.
Allow the process of getting and healing a piercing to also be a process of healing yourself. Use this time to show intentional kindness to your body and to be curious about the things your body has to share with you. And allow your piercing to be a reminder of your strength, courage, and resilience.
Happy Healing <3