When I was 13, all I wanted in this life was to get my nose pierced. There was an older girl at my middle school who had hers done and I was obsessed. I saw the clerk at the grocery store who wore a chunky silver hoop in his, and it captivated me every time. I begged, pleaded, and even made PowerPoint presentations to convince my parents. It took nearly a year before they capitulated and agreed to take me. After that, it was all downhill. Every birthday, every holiday, every good grade. Can I get another piercing? I was hooked. It frustrated me to no end when they would say no. Or, worse, when the piercer would say no. A bridge had been high on my wishlist since I turned 15 (thanks, Tumblr), and after my mom agreed, imagine my shock when my piercer refused. “Only 18 and up, because of how severely they scar.” Devastated is an understatement. It felt like my whole world was ending- this was my dream piercing! My parents were more than smug that the piercer felt I should wait, but I was heartbroken.
Somewhere out there, 15-year-old Lynn is extra heartbroken and betrayed. Because these days, 31-year-old Lynn tells folks all the time, “wait till you are 18.” And, much to the chagrin of my younger self, I’m grateful that I was made to wait for many of the piercings and tattoos I wanted. So what happened? What changed in 16 years that I have joined the ranks of those who once broke my young little heart? And why would I encourage many minors to wait before getting some of the piercings they so desire?
Wait, doesn’t mean for everything….
Now, when I say I think minors should wait for some piercings, the some in that sentence is carrying a lot of weight. As a big believer in personal bodily autonomy, I actually feel like many piercings are ideal to do at a younger age- I talk about this here. If school and extracurriculars allow for it, this is a great time to heal piercings. Most young folks have awesome immune systems, and kids can learn about patience, responsibility, and consistency through healing a piercing. And, once fully healed many piercings can be discreetly hidden with retainers for work or school- meaning once they are old enough to get a job that may restrict visible piercings, it’s much easier to hide them rather then dealing with trying to hide a fresh piercing, which can be difficult if not impossible. I also find that piercings can be powerful motivators- they can take months to heal and require consistency with aftercare, patience with allowing healing to happen before changing things in and out, and diligence with the process. A good prerequisite for all these skills might be certain grades on a report card, consistency with chores, or self-care tasks. I’ll say my room was never cleaner and my grades were never better than when I was finally allowed to get my nose pierced. In fact, I have a whole blog post here that details some of these concepts. There are many piercings that I think are appropriate and happily do for minors.
So when I say it’s not a bad idea to wait…what am I referring to?
Some Piercings Carry Higher Risk
When my piercer told me no to a bridge at 16, it was over the scarring. And honestly, now that I work as a piercer, I am very inclined to agree. Bridges, like some other piercings, carry very high risks of scarring. And the scarring they leave can be pretty severe. Even if a bridge is perfectly done and perfectly healed when it is removed, the scar that it leaves behind will still likely be large, deep, and extremely noticeable. At 16, I was pretty sure I didn’t care about that. At 31, I see multiple clients getting expensive treatments, sometimes thousands of dollars, treatments, lasers, and scar removals to minimize that scar. They are tired of being asked “what happened to your face” or being told it “looks unprofessional” in their line of work. Now, in an ideal world, these interactions wouldn’t happen, and it wouldn’t be a big deal to have a scar from a previous piercing. But we don’t live in an ideal world, and that kind of pushback is very common. It’s a permanent decision to have a large visible scar in the middle of your face, which can affect your work prospects, dating life, and personal life. That's a big decision to make as a minor, and I agree with waiting. The same goes for vertical upper lip piercings, which are also very prone to migration, rejection, and scarring, as well as forward-facing nostril piercings aka mantis piercings- which also leave very visible scars in the middle of your nose.
Some piercings carry risk of not just scarring but further damage. For example, cheek piercings are notorious for risking abscesses, causing tooth and gum damage, and generally being deeply problematic, difficult healers. I personally don’t believe it’s ethical to do a piercing with such high risks on someone underage. For this reason, cheeks, ‘dahlias’ or inner cheek piercings, high nostrils, and large gauge labrets or philtrums are all piercings I will only do over 18. I personally am not comfortable potentially permanently damaging someone’s teeth until they are legally old enough to consent to that risk themselves. For that same reason, some piercers may not offer oral piercings on minors at all, and I honestly respect that boundary.
And of course, we must consider the social implication of many of these piercings as well. While I wish we lived in a world where we could all look the way we want and be who we are and live authentically without shame or stigma….that’s not this world. I’ve talked at length about the social repercussions of being visibly modified- impacting your ability to get a job, buy a car or home, get bank loans, or otherwise function as an adult in society. These are very, very real consequences to having visible piercings and tattoos. And at 15 and 16, you might think it doesn’t matter or you don’t care. At 30 when your dentist turns you away over your lip ring, or you struggle to get a mortgage because folks are biased against your appearance, it's a different story. So I also understand why parents might encourage you to wait till you are older and more fully understand and are prepared for just how much of your life these choices will impact.
Piercings aren’t going anywhere, and neither are you. You have your whole life ahead of you to get pierced and modify your body in the way you see fit! Please know that when we encourage you to wait for some of these higher-risk piercings, we do so out of an abundance of care and caution for your future.