I’ve talked at length about genital piercings before on this blog. From how to prepare for getting them, what to expect from healing, some common aftercare myths, and even realistic reviews of what having them is like. It’s no secret this can be some of the most empowering work we do, and some of the most rewarding. I realized recently that I haven’t talked about one of the cutest, and most time-honored traditions when it comes to getting genital piercing work done- doing it at the same time as your partner and healing it together!
With genital piercings, there is always a discussion of sex and sexuality that has to be had. Especially when clients are partnered, and have someone who will be waiting patiently (or impatiently) for things to be healed enough to enjoy again. For many clients, this can be a drawback when it comes to getting these piercings, having to wait before being active with their partner again. But some have figured out the perfect workaround for this- getting pierced together!
The Couple that Heals Together, Stays Together
Of course, the obvious benefit of doing piercings together is the fact that you’ll both be healing, so you’ll both have your desires quelled by the often messy, sore, and sometimes awkward process of healing these piercings. But this allows you to be intimate and vulnerable in an entirely new way. There are few things that allow for deeper bonding (and humility) than having to help your partner navigate using the bathroom with a fresh PA or some labia piercings, or helping someone clean a guiche they can’t see well themselves.
This time can be an interesting lesson in caretaking for each other, and in learning to ask for and accept help when it’s needed. I see a lot of clients who opt to get pierced together come back in and commiserate about the connection they felt both getting piercings which can be pretty intense, and how much closer they felt as they healed together and shared in the ups and downs and awkward moments of healing these piercings. It not only allowed both partners some downtime to let their bodies heal, but it created a sense of camaraderie and connection as you both experience this very unique, very enlightening healing process. After all, the process of healing a piercing often makes one very connected to their body- having to actively care for your body through the healing process, be kind to it, and check in with it. Sharing this experience with someone you also love and care for allows for this incredible, intimate process of being present in our bodies, and celebrating our bodies for what they can do for us.
Return to Intimacy can be Intentional
Now once things are a bit more healed and feeling comfortable, most folks are just itching to try out their new toys. My rules for this are as follows- comfort and hygiene. Comfort means listening to your body and your piercings. If anything burns, stings, pinches, or hurts, it’s too soon. Stop what you are doing, and wait a few weeks before revisiting that activity. Hygiene means cleaning the piercing well before and after, and anyone or anything that could come in contact with it. It also means using protection for the first month- not because we are worried about STDs but because we don’t want other people’s bodily fluids and bacteria on our piercings (yes, even your partners).
Most clients, depending on the piercing, are resuming some level of activity within the first month. Initial activities are very very gentle- they might just be light touches, gentle masturbation, or very slow and gentle intercourse. When you are healing genital piercings your piercing will definitely tell you when something feels uncomfortable or wrong, and that sudden sharp or stinging sensation is a decidedly unpleasant one. When you are healing something alongside your partner, you are both very aware of exactly what those sensations can be like and exactly where these limits are. This means you can both be very intentional with your touches and interactions. This can allow for a really wonderful change of pace from your usual. Healing these piercings kind of forces you to approach sex and intimacy differently- you are hyper-aware of not wanting to hurt or irritate your partner or their new piercings. Interactions can be slower, more sensual, and involve a lot more communication and checking in. I have many clients who expressed to me that the waiting period before resuming things was their worst fear going into getting the piercing. But afterward, they found that the slower and more cautious interactions allowed for a new level of bonding and connection with each other and their bodies, and a heightened level of awareness of even the slightest, softest touch. It made folks get creative with how they choose to satisfy their needs and their partners and encouraged them to think outside the box about how they approach things.
As you heal, the piercings will become more stable and you’ll be able to return to your normal routines. But healing together will offer you a unique experience to bond as a couple, and share in a truly empowering experience as a team. If both you and your partner have considered genital piercings, I encourage you to consider getting them done and healing them together, and enjoying the ways this process can bring you closer. Happy Healing!